What are you afraid of...public speaking, a new computer program, failing a class, losing your job, asking someone out, getting dumped? Whatever it is, you must know that fear is nothing more than a negative expectation. Think about it. When you’re afraid, what are you imagining? You are focusing on all the things that could go wrong. If you want to get rid of fear, you just exchange the negative expectations for positive ones!
It really is that simple.
If you are fearful about failing a class, for example, your negative expectation might be that you're wasting your time or your GPA will drop or you'll have to take the class over again. It is within you to replace those thoughts with more positive ones, like: You're going to ace this exam...You love this class and enjoy mastering a challenging subject...You'll be so proud when you leave the last class and see your grade!
If, on the other hand, your fear stems from a work or business situation, you might worry that you'll be fired, go out of business, lose your investment or your income. Start telling yourself that the business, the meeting, the project or the decision is going to be a success. You are not only creating a meaningful company or product or career, you are serving the world and circulating wealth. You’re also becoming a better person as a result of taking risks, learning through trial and error and overcoming challenges. You expect success.
Ending a Relationship
If you fear breaking your partner's heart, you might worry that he or she is going to tell everyone your deepest, darkest secrets or that after the breakup, you might never find anyone better than the person you broke up with. You may fear that you’ll spend your life regretting this decision. All too often, this is why people stay too long in dysfunctional or unhappy relationships.
Change your expectation and it will change the way you treat a breakup and its subsequent interactions. Decide what's best for you. Tell yourself that you’re going to have an honest conversation with your significant other, letting him/her know that you care deeply but don’t feel the relationship is serving either of you well. If you operate out of love and respect demonstrating a positive attitude and expectation, you’ll both be able to appreciate what you shared, trusting that you will take what you’ve learned and have better relationships in the future.
Positive thinking is powerful
The key to overcoming any fear is creating positive expectations and focusing on them as often as possible - while working out, driving to school, working, and especially, in conversations with your family and friends.
Just imagine what you could be doing if you had no fear!